Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Tale of Gene and Charles

Two men. Gene and Charlie had known each other as children, but then then went their separate ways, as so many do. 
One day after many years had passed they met quite by accident at the Bethesda Fountain in New York's Central Park.
Charlie recognized Gene almost immediately. My! How well he looked dressed in a custom-tailored suit by Meladandri with alligator pumps to match! Gene also sported a Gucci shoulder bag hanging causally from one arm and an equally expensive, fashionably-dressed female of considerable beauty on the other. He carried himself with an air that came close perilously to being a swagger.
Charlie, who had not yet made his mark, was the first to speak. 
"Gene! Gene, my old friend, how wonderfully well you look!" he exclaimed. "Life must have treated you very kindly, eh, my friend?" Tell me, please, what has been the secret of your obvious success?"

Gene, who had not recognized his slightly shabby looking old friend right away, was somewhat taken aback, but answered cheerfully enough, "Well you see, I developed a formula that can make anyone's genitalia smell –– and taste –– exactly like a bowl of ripe fruit of the highest quality. The product has, as you can see, done very well."
The two of friends parted, and again went their separate ways, but the chance encounter got Charlie thinking ...
Three years later the two men bumped into each other once again –– this time at The Colony where Gene arrived to find Old Charlie seated like a Sultan on a banquette in a uniquely tinted, handmade silk suit imported from Hong Kong. Surrounded by six adoring females each dressed in designer gowns from Paris, each swathed in mink, sable and chinchilla and dripping with diamonds, rubies, emeralds and pearls, Charlie beamed with delight at the sight of his old friend Gene. Four waiters, six footmen and the Maitre D’ danced attendance on Charlie's entourage, while the man, himself, smoked serenely from a jewel-encrusted Turkish hookah.
"Eh bien!" cried Gene astounded. "And what pray tell has happened to bring about this remarkable change in your life, my dear Charles?

Beckoning the flabbergasted Gene to his table, then taking him aside, Charlie gently murmured, "I owe this all to you, old friend. After you told me you had discovered how to make genitalia smell and taste like ripe fruit, I went to work and found the way to make fresh fruit smell -- and taste -- like GENITALIA!’ 

“As you can see, the product is doing very well."


  1. Ah, the ever-shifting centers and sensibilities of the Vitruvian man...

  2. Looks like Da Vinci to me! I doubt if Gene and Charlie knew anything about him in their competitive quest to capture the public's imagination to gain fame and fortune.

    Leonardo didn't traffic much in crass materialism -- too busy being creative in more important ways.

    Where would Leonardo be if her were with us today?

    Probably painting mustaches on posters in the NY Subway System. There would be no place for such a person in today's world.

  3. I wonder how many who've traipsed by here today realize that this is a dirty joke, albeit quite elegantly presented? You have certainly mastered the art of being smutty without being the least bit vulgar, FT. No small accomplishment in my book. I wonder if that witless drone, self-important currently occupying the White House would have the faintest idea of what you've said here today?

    ------------> Katharine Heartburn

  4. The expression on that Siamese cat's face is priceless, FT. Obviously the creature gets the joke, but is so taken aback by your audacity it can't bring itself to register approval. Very amusing.

    -------------> Katharine Heartburn

  5. You need to get back to blogging about politics, About King Hussein, abut the Moocher, and even about the progressives whining . We miss that, this crapola is getting booooring.

  6. I'm not here to cater to the limited mentality of bigots, Margie. Sorry, but humorless, rabidly negative, one-dimensional people of limited intelligence bore the SPIT out of me.

    Please don't make the mistake of trying to tell me what I "ought" to do again. I'm almost 73 years old, long retired, and I have reached the stage where I do what I please. I've never tried to win a popularity contest, and never will.

    That said, you might enjoy the next two items in the lineup. That, of course is entirely up to you.

    Be well.

  7. Katharine, I'm beginning to wonder what I would do without you. Your acerbity acts like a tonic.

    Thank you for being the rara avis that you are.

  8. Ellie Rosenfield said

    Surely you could find better ways to occupy bandwidth than THIS?

    It's demeaning to both sexes, but particularly to women.

    Shame in you!



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