Jeff Foxworthy
1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, You may be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.
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| Mohammed watching shameless women burn in Hell for letting strangers catch a glimpse of their hair |
3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.
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| Mohammed watching women burned in Hell suspended with hooks put through their tongues for talking back to their husbands |
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim.
6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.
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| Mohammed watching women burned in Hell with hooks put through their breasts for the sin of having been born a woman |
7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.
10. If you find this offensive and don't share it, You may be a Muslim.
I own the comic book Mohammed's Believe It or Else!
ReplyDeleteAlthough the format is that of a humorous book, the information -- quotes from the Quran and the Haditha -- are real.
I enjoy perusing Mohammed's Believe It or Else! while eating a ham sandwich. **wink**
One can peruse the book online HERE. Enjoy!
BTW, I just tweeted this blog post.
ReplyDeleteTo many Musslims not not enough Cats and Dogs.
ReplyDeleteYOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR THIS BLASPHEMY!
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ReplyDeleteA Muslim, a socialist, and a communist walk into a bar.
The bartender says hello Mr. Obama
Thanks, AOW, for the link to Believe or, or Else. I know I'll enjoy it. The title alone is so witty and provocative the contents must be very amusing.
ReplyDeleteAt this point I'd consider it an HONOR to have a FATWA issued against me. Surely an Enemy of Islam is a servant of the Trinity. ;-)
Life without Humor is Living Death, as far as I'm concerned. And I freely admit I just love tweaking the noses of the humorless leftists who infest our political culture.
We could gladly embrace them, of course, with warmth and affection, if they awakened to the error of their ways, and decided, once and for all, to join The Side of the Angels.
Wanna know what the Pseudostinians HATE about ISIS?
ReplyDeleteIt's NOT that they're brutal murderers. It's NOT that they religious zealots. It's that they aren't killing any Jews.
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ReplyDelete++++++++++ REMINDER ++++++++++
ReplyDeleteALL PERSONAL REMARKS WILL BE REMOVED
Dick Merganser said
ReplyDeleteI read about half that "comic book." Boy! That Mudhamhead really was an asshole, wasn't he?
Now "THIS".
ReplyDeleteThe White Shroud and Dutch bikers join the "battle" against ISIS who have enlisted fighters from 80 countries including Jews from Israel. Might as well just kick back and enjoy the "show" since it always seems to be produced in a timely fashion and always in Hi-Def.
Foxworthy always brings a laugh or two to the party. A funny albeit not politically correct guy.
ReplyDeleteAlong with inanity, insolence, truculence, spitefulness, stinginess, aggressiveness, and deliberate cruelty, we despise all things that even hint of Marxian sympathies, and all forms of tyranny.
ReplyDeleteSince Political Correctness has functioned primarily as a wily, deceitful, diabolically clever handmaiden to Despotism, we do everything in our power to oppose it, ridicule it, deride it, defame and hopefully one day destroy it before it destroys us.
One thing we will never do is show it even the most modest degree of respect, for in truth PC is a wicked thing, and must be given no quarter in this bitter Culture War in which we have been forced to engage.
"Extremism in Defense of Liberty is No Vice."
Ralph Kramden said
ReplyDeleteI think them Muzzies got the right idea about women. Look what's happened to us since we let them bamboozle us into letting them vote and then get into congress.
I don't go for hooken them up by their titties or nothing like that. A good sock in the kisser every few days ought to be enough to keep them babies in line. Them Muzzies go a little too far, but they sure got the right idea.
Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. - Barry Goldwater
ReplyDeleteDefining liberty is an interesting pursuit and I doubt there will ever come a time when universal agreement will be
achieved.
The question who's liberty will be ever present. Sometimes defending the liberty of one infringes on another. Perhaps a discussion for another day?
BTW, Goldwater was a man I admire. A true conservative with a conscience.
ReplyDeleteThose who live in glass cathedrals shouldn't throw stones at glass mosques.
ReplyDeleteHey FT! How ya' been?
JMJ
JMJ,
ReplyDeleteIt's not only those living in cathedrals who are criticizing Islam. Sam Harris immediately comes to mind.
Hey Jersey, were the hell ya been?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see you, Jersey, and have already said so at two other blogs. Welcome back.
ReplyDeleteIf you see this, go take a look at the post for September 18. It was all abut you, and how much we missed you, believe it or not.
Hope you were just taking a break and were not sick or anything like that?
I always thought that if you could put napalm in ordnance, you could put bacon grease in it as well... is that wrong?
ReplyDeleteSPLENDID IDEA, Finntann!
ReplyDeleteIf it were up to me, I wouldn't hesitate to use Germ Warfare against the bastards. An Ebola epidemic in the Middle East might prove a great boon to the West -- IF we could get OUR people out of there, keep THEIR people and all who support them OVER THERE, and let the disease do the dirty work for us.
The more I see of the rest of the world, the more I long for a strict isolationist policy to be rigidly enforced.
I know. I know. It just couldn't be made to work in the modern world.
The MOST insane and immoral thing Ovomit has done to date is arrange to send OUR troops to Liberia to fight Ebola. There is no question that many of our people will come down with the disease, will have to be flown back home bringing it WITH them and helping it to spread more quickly and become more deadly here.
Either Ovomit is either the STUPIDEST leader we've ever had, or he's far and away the MOST EVIL.
If there's any other way to look at it, I wish someone would let me know what it might be. Im all ears.
Hey Jersey jackass,
ReplyDeletePeople in crystal cathedrals aren't stoning adulteresses, collapsing walls on homosexuals, decapitating kaffirs, and bombing and burning and rampaging over blasphemous cartoons.
Islamonuts are. They are murderous, intolerant obscurantists and they have converted to an open sewer every land they have infested.
There is no comparison between the religion of Jesus Christ and Pedo Mo's Religion of Pieces.
Put that in your hopium hookah and smoke it you big blabbering bolshevik baboon!
Oh, and welcome back, Jersey.
ReplyDeleteGlad you didn't fall into the pit of hell or anything...
More Jeff Foxworthy ...
ReplyDelete"If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
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If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If an 80-year-old woman or a three-year-old girl who is confined to a wheelchair can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion, while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If the government’s plan for getting people back to work is to provide incentives for not working, by granting 99 weeks of unemployment checks, without any requirement to prove that gainful employment was diligently sought, but couldn’t be found — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
What a country!"
WOW!
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