Tuesday, October 2, 2012


TENJOOBERRYMUDS


In order to continue getting-by in the United States of America (our homeland), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS.”

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

The following is a telephone exchange that could easily occur during a call between you as a hotel guest and room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today ...

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... Don't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine....Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter.. Just put the butter on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy .... Rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' ".....and you do, don't you!

20 comments:

  1. Were this not so goddamn sad I would be LMFAO.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OWA-TAGUZ-SIAM!

    Repeat 5x fast.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Would you prefer he speak in his native language?

    Accents are difficult to overcome, especially if your native language is not in the same family as the language you are trying to speak.

    When you consider that some languages contain sounds that don't even exist in English, it becomes more apparent how difficult it can be.

    The only time it bothers me is when they catch an attitude with me. I'm pretty good at understanding even extremely thick accents, so it's not that big of a deal for me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Freethinker, it happens.

    Had it happen to me in Yorkshire. They throw that Yorkshire accent on thick and you have no idea what's being said.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rational Nation, how many foreign languages do you speak?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was on a tour bus in Washington D.C. a couple of days ago and the standard taped version they usually play was broken. The guy that tried his best to explain what we were seeing as we traveled along the city streets actually did a good job as far as I could tell but I only understood about 25% of it. The other 75% was completely jibberish.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Woll, blatherskite balabash chim chim cheree! 
    Snoggadirm underswill gacklong tra lee. 
    Vi vila varmit -- plikus pigoo. 
    Snarkim mazoodags babblous skidoo. 
    Noxim de flairgrums -- pussi galore.
    Tartabulations haddelius glagohr.
    Werdix prepostruss misledousta froom.
    Gaga magottial onderdinck's glume.


    ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE LACKING WIT AND ANY SEMBLANCE OF HUMOR.

    We have unique and devious ways of smoking out closet liberals and crypto-Marxists in these here parts. 

    (<:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. FJ - Reminds me of the old trick of asking some poor unsuspecting soul to say LEASE PULL several times in succession in a loud voice.

    You then ask him, "Why are you calling for the police? I didn't do anything wrong, you stupid jerk."

    On that level.

    ~ FT

    ReplyDelete
  10. I get it. Benny Hill made great hilarity from such things.

    Speaking of which, Quadrophenia is finally back out after a DVD hiatus. The working class London accents were so thick I wished it had subtitles.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes, Silver. If we can't find humor in life, life is not worth living.

    ~ FT

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ducky,

    One of the great ironies from my point of view is my enjoyment of hearing educated British people -- and all educated Europeans including Russians -- speak English.

    Their vowels are so much more beautiful than ours, and they often know more English words, and speak more clearly than Americans on average. I have less difficulty understanding English spoken by educated foreigners than I do listening to an average cross section of Americans.

    Our diction and ability to modulate our voices has degenerated along with everything else.

    Europeans have MUSIC in their voices. WE tend to sound like factory whistles, foghorns, ocarinas and kazoos run amok -- especially our women.

    ~ FT

    ReplyDelete
  13. Their vowels are so much more beautiful than ours ...

    ------------

    You'd love Arabic.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Whenever Semites try to speak English, Canardo, some of the ugliest sounds ever emitted on this earth come out of their throats.

    Their influence on how English is spoken in English-speaking countries has been deleterious to say the least.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well Freethinker I was alluding to the fact that Arabic has no vowels.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Semitic languages are not languages so much as diseases of the throat.

    Guttural, guttural, guttural!
    A pity such sounds have been utterel.

    Hawking up snot is the general effect
    Semites make whenever they cheer or object.


    ~ FT

    ReplyDelete
  17. you racist peace of shit

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sounds a little like Bawlmerese.
    "Hollyday: See Crissmiss, Fansgibben."

    ReplyDelete
  19. You mean BALTIMORE, Lady Liberty?

    I think you're right.

    You don't have be foreign-born to speak unintelligible English.

    Regional dialects in all the English-speaking societies of the world is a fascinating study all by itself.

    We need a Professor Higgins to preserve it all using recording techniques and writing in the International Phonetic Alphabet.

    I once lived in Sussex Keeyaownih, Dullawir, so I know just what you're talking about. ;-)

    Thanks for visiting. Please stop by again.

    ~ FreeThinke

    ReplyDelete

IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING, YOU DON'T BELONG HERE, SO KINDLY GET OUT AND STAY OUT.

We welcome Conversation
But without Vituperation.
If your aim is Vilification ––
Other forms of Denigration ––
Unfounded Accusation --
Determined Obfuscation ––
Alienation with Self-Justification ––
We WILL use COMMENT ERADICATION.


IN ADDITION

Gratuitous Displays of Extraneous Knowledge Offered Not To Shed Light Or Enhance the Discussion, But For The Primary Purpose Of Giving An Impression Of Superiority are obnoxiously SELF-AGGRANDIZING, and therefore, Subject to Removal at the Discretion of the Censor-in-Residence.