Thursday, September 7, 2017

HERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY for YOU to BEHAVE  DECENTLY, COURTEOUSLY and EMPATHETICALLY
for a CHANGE 

Shaw Kenawe’s Husband Has Passed Away.  Regardless of Any Political Differences We Might Have, I Regard Miss Shaw as a Friend, and Posted the Following at Progressive Eruptions as 
Soon as I Heard the Sad News.

The beautiful Shawe Kenawe and her husband-to-be in 1977

Dear, Shaw, 

I am so sorry your most important relationship has come to such a sad, untimely end. I hope these words by our special friend Emily Dickinson may help you as you struggle to gain a better sense of perspective on life that must seem senseless and unrewarding at times like this.

While I was fearing it, it came —
But came with less of fear
Because that fearing it so long
Had almost made it fair —

There is a Fitting — a Dismay —
A Fitting — a Despair 
’Tis harder knowing it is Due
Than knowing it is Here.

The Trying on the Utmost
The Morning it is new
Is Terribler than wearing it
A whole existence through.

~ Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

I offer too these words from Carousel by Oscar Hammerstein II, whom I have come to regard as one of our finest lyric poets, despite his enormous popularity.  He understood the human heart very well, and expressed his wisdom gently, kindly, with good humor and great empathy for the human condition in words most could easily understand, bless him! 

What's the use of wonderin' 
If he's good or if he's bad,
Or if you like the way he wears his hat?
Oh what's the use of wonderin' 
If he's good or if he's bad
He's your feller, and you love him
That's all there is to that.

Common sense may tell you 
That the endin' will be sad,
And now's the time to break
And run run away

Though common sense may tell you 
That the endin'will be sad
Your his gal and he's your feller
There's nothin' more to say.

Somethin' made him the way that he is
Whether he's false or true
And Someone gave him the things that are his
One of these things is you

So, when he wants your kisses
You must give them to the lad,
And anywhere he leads you, you will walk
And anytime he needs you ––
You'll go runnin' there like mad ––
You're his gal and he's your feller,
And all the rest is talk.


I wish I could offer more. I believe you still have my phone number. If ever you feel a need to talk, –– even in the middle of the night –– I'd be glad to listen.

You were a beauitful couple when you married. I know you produced beautiful children.  I hope those good memories will help sustain you  as work through this period of grief.

Love,


FreeThinke

Shaw's husband in later years. May he rest in peace.

Comments Will Remain in Moderation 
for the Duration of This Post


20 comments:

  1. I am very sorry to hear this bad news. Like you, I enjoyed some wonderful, non-political conversations with Shaw. She has some great young people in her family.

    I decided to stay away from her blog because it caused me to have uncharitable feelings about her that I simply did not want to have inside of me.

    Anyway, my deep condolences to Shaw and her family. It's the way of all flesh, but that takes away none of the pain when you must say goodbye to a loved one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Silver. You are one of the very few decent people left in the blogosphere.

      Shaw and I have been at swords points philosophically for years, but that doesn't mean I can't be fond of her.

      I discovered a workable bit of idealism not too long ago with a cat who was indifferent to my charms. So finally I said to her, That's all right, sweetheart, it doesn't matter if you love me or not. What matters is that I love you. –– and I always will."

      Oddly enough I have found subsequently that the sentiment applies just as well or better to human relationships.

      Give ALL, demand NOTHING, and, believe it or not, you'll be all right.

      Miss Agnes Muir, my dear old maid Primary Sunday School teacher, was RIGHT when she taught, us "It is more blessed to GIVE than to RECEIVE."

      It may seem coungterintuitive, but it makes us FEEL better when we give unstintingly with no thought of any kind of reward for ourselves.

      Delete
    2. Nemo (Out of Necessity)September 8, 2017 at 9:09 AM

      Good comment, Silverfiddle.

      Delete
  2. I am truly sorry to hear about the passing of your Husband...
    I don't have enough words that canexpress the sadness I feel for you and your family right now. Please just know that my prayers are with you all today.
    May the Good Lord comfort you and your family

    ReplyDelete
  3. From having lost my own husband almost 8 years ago, I know something of Shaw's pain, everyone is different, and I wish Shaw peace and comfort. The initial wrench does smooth out but never really goes away; but who wants to ever forget our husband if we loved him? Very sorry to hear this and sending SHaw's family my best wishes at this truly terrible time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Z. I'm very glad you stopped by.

      Delete
  4. I still post on her blog and sorry to hear of her loss. We have differing opinions on a few things or most things but she always. most times, hears me out.
    If everyone on a blog is like minded there is little discussion just head bobbing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We note the caring compassionate conservatives outpouring of decency.

    KUDOS to you FreeThinke and honorable mention for Silverfiddle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's nice, but we don't do it for kudos. We do it because a fellow human being is suffering at the loss of someone she loves.

      Delete
    2. You are exactly right, Silver, of course, but I feel compelled to add, "And that is precisely WHY you DESERVE Kudos."

      [Please notice I left myself out in the interesets of modesty and good decorum. };^)>]

      Delete
    3. I still don't buy it. Congratulations, kudos and honorable mention for a few heartfelt words?

      No. We live not in ourselves, but in the effervescent connections.

      Commiserations and expressions of sympathy don't ease the pain, but they can salve--perhaps for a moment--the existential angst caused by the horrible realization that each of us is, ultimately, alone in the void.

      Delete
    4. I won't have this thread lapse into argument, Silver, but I don't believe we are ALONE, and I don't believe we exist in a VOID –– as long as we do our best to maintain faith in an Almighty and ever-living God.

      This simple little verse (below) has sustained me through many dark moments. It was given to me by one of my great aunts –– a dear little maiden lady who lived in poverty in New York City, worked full time till she was eighty-eight (!), never had a love life, or much of any material benefits, yet she was remarkably happy. Why? Because she honestly believed that Jesus was walking by her side all the time.

      Her childlike faith paid off. She lived entirely on her own till she was just three weeks shy of her one-hundredth birthday. She called the amblance for herself when she developed pneumonia,and died peacefully three days later.

      One of the nurses called me and said, "Your aunt died with a smile in her face. She was absolutely POSITIVE that she would soon meet the Lord and that He would reunite with her moher and father and younger brother –– and everyone else who'd ever meant anything to her."

      That nurse, who called me at my aunt's behest, spoke with tears in her voice. It was a very touching moment.

      Anyway, here's the little rhyme. I hope it helps others as it ha helped me.

      God is my help in every need.
      He does my every hunger feed.

      He walks beside me, guides my way
      Through every miment of the day,


      I use it like a mantra whenever I feel the temptation to be anxious. Don't ask me how or why, but IT WORKS WONDERS.

      Delete
    5. Nothing I said argues against a Father in Heaven who always loves us and never abandons us.

      I knew I could get a Bible verse out of you ;-)

      Delete
    6. FreeThinke wins the thread!

      Delete
    7. Thank you, (I think!) but there's been no competition here, so how could "winning" be possible?

      Our intent has been only to recognize and show respect for Miss Shaw's grief, and to do what we could to show empathy.

      Delete
    8. Which is why the sincere comment. Rising above partisan political BS at times like these shows true character. Regardless of differences Shaw and her family should have our support and love. You offered that freely.

      Delete
  6. Nemo (Out of Necessity)September 8, 2017 at 9:08 AM

    As one of my older friends once told me when I was observing and trying to understand my father's terrible grief upon the passing of my mother -

    "Nothing prepares you for the loss of your mate."

    This older friend of mine was about my father's age and had been a widow for some 10 years.

    She was a wise lady, who always offered good advice till she breathed her last.

    Perhaps my friend's wise words will help Shaw Kenawe as she works out her own path along the winding road of grief.

    ReplyDelete
  7. To everyone at Free Thinke's blog, and especially, Free Thinke,

    A heartfelt "Thank you," for all your kind thoughts during this very sad time for our family. I acknowledge your sincere and comforting words to me and my family, and I want everyone to know I am deeply touched. This is a painful time in life that we all will or we all have had to experience.

    Thank you, Free Thinke, for your generous thoughts, prayers, and kindnesses, and for your commenters who've taken the time to comfort me.

    Blessings to you all: Silverfiddle, Nemo, Anonymous, skudrunner, Z, and TOM. And a special "Thank you" to Free Thinks.

    Sincerely,
    Shaw Kenawe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am touched that would make the effort to say these kind words at a time that must be extremely difficult for you.

      Thank youi for accepting our heartfelt condolences with such good grace.

      ~ FreeThinke

      Delete

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