Saturday, April 26, 2014

Windpower:



Fuel of the Future? 




Beans, beans 
The musical fruit 
The more you eat 
The more you toot. 

Beans make wind, 
So, direct the flow, 
And you'll move faster
Wherever you go. 

Beans help foster solitude 
You'll soon be alone 
After eating this food. 

I knew a girl,
A terrible flirt, 
The beans she ate
Tore a hole in her skirt. 

Night time beans 
Filled him with dread, 
Because often the sheets 
Blew right off his bed. 

Beans beans! 
Good for your heart 
Eat more not less 
For a roaring good start. 

Back from Progress 
You'll not be held. 
Instead, your life will be 
JET-PROPELLED!

~ Fartin A. Jarre (ne Edgar Allen Phew)



Edgar Allen Phew



Wind Power stinks to high heaven!

28 comments:

  1. This proves my point. You ARE a nutty republican fruit cake

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...beats being a Democrat poofter!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not familiar with Edgar Allen Phew, but clearly a poet of high order! Er, was he from Nantucket?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Was that poem written by the English Poet Sir farts aLot?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Authored by Sir Fartalot, you ask?

    No, it was written -- just as it says -- by Fartin A. Jarre, one of several pen names used by the celebrated American poet, Edgar Allen Phew, sometimes spelled Pugh or Pewe. He is best known for his epic poem The Maven, also The Balls, Lulu's Loom, and the wistful Hannibal Leigh.

    The pseudonym under which Windpower appears is not to be confused with that of the British writer of pulp fiction Fartina Jarre, better known as Barbara Fartland.

    It is our considered opinion that Windpower is destined to become an Underground Classic. Though it's tone may appear whimsical -- even frivolous -- to the casual observer, indubitably its implications are vast, far-reaching, and profound.

    ReplyDelete
  6. To Thersites

    Folks with good sense would say that
    Anything is better than a Democrat.

    ReplyDelete
  7. And ANY-THING is better than a Progressive.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Camilla Jablonsky said

    Anything is better than a Prog?

    Oh, I don't know Jamerson. It all depends on what you want to do with them. They may be lousy in the voting booth, but they tend to be great in bed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nothing says low brow better than conservatives swarming around fart jokes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. And nothing shouts "obscenity" like a progressive's conception of "high culture".

    ReplyDelete
  11. ...fart jokes seem an appropriate conservative response.

    Properly labelled, it's called "kynicism".

    ReplyDelete
  12. ..and the Left hasn't even got that much.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's all "compassion" without capacity/ capability.

    ReplyDelete
  14. They have been reduced to the role of "those for whom appearances must be maintained" (political correctness).

    ReplyDelete
  15. I, personally, LOVE being insulted by morons and malevolent pseudo-intellectuals.

    After all, it would be a positive INSULT if they LIKED what i said, and heaped praise on me, wouldn't it?


    The hallmark of the typical Marxian advocate of "Ruthless Totalitarianism for the Good of All" is a complete absence of HUMOR, and no sense of historical PERSPECTIVE, coupled with a dogged determination to take everything literally while searching zealously for the hole in every doughnut, the worm in every apple, and the mote in every pair of eyes, the dust in every tabletop and the potholes in every road, etc.

    Their role in life is to FIND FAULT, and target every available object for RELENTLESS DENIGRATION.

    Once you've become fully aware of their sick little game, it becomes downright AMUSING to see the bastards run true to form.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  17. We welcome conversation
    But without vituperation.
    If you come for vilification ––
    Other forms of alienation ––
    Or too much self-justification ––
    We WILL use Comment Moderation ––
    And possibly ERADICATION.

    ~ Your Cordial Host

    ReplyDelete
  18. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  19. As surely as the grass is green
    You'll be erased, if you act mean.
    Leftists aren't the only ones
    Who act as brutal as the Huns.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Frida Van der WienerApril 27, 2014 at 1:58 PM

    You know, throwing a potato in the pot when cooking beans will take the wind out of their sails.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Great thought, Frida, but do you have a similar trick for taking the virulence out of leftists? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Perish the thought, FT! I would miss seeing them daily hoisted into the stratosphere upon their own petards as is presently de rigueur.

    Comedy, such as is generally available to us conservatives, is in short supply enough!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Well, Thersites, be that as it may, I was very glad you didn't resort to Serrano in your example of the typical leftist intellectual's idea of "high culture." That along with the Dung Madonna, which I rather like by the way, has already become a cliché.

    What that says about the current state of American culture might best reman unarticulated.

    ReplyDelete
  24. A, Reader said

    You need help. You should join a local chapter of Fartaholics Anonymous.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Squeeze your ass for a squeaky one.

    ReplyDelete
  26. We REALLY need to find a way of keeping these im*poof*-ters from squeeking in, here! :(

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yeah, I know, Old Friend, but there isn't any way in Blogger, and I dislike Disqus of its because severe formatting restrictions. Blogger is bad enough, but Disqus is the PITS

    ReplyDelete

IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING, YOU DON'T BELONG HERE, SO KINDLY GET OUT AND STAY OUT.

We welcome Conversation
But without Vituperation.
If your aim is Vilification ––
Other forms of Denigration ––
Unfounded Accusation --
Determined Obfuscation ––
Alienation with Self-Justification ––
We WILL use COMMENT ERADICATION.


IN ADDITION

Gratuitous Displays of Extraneous Knowledge Offered Not To Shed Light Or Enhance the Discussion, But For The Primary Purpose Of Giving An Impression Of Superiority are obnoxiously SELF-AGGRANDIZING, and therefore, Subject to Removal at the Discretion of the Censor-in-Residence.