~•A Visit with Pa Grouch •~

 'Twas two days before Christmas

And Papa Grouch here

Made a pact with the Devil

To stay home this year. 

~ § ~

The cupboard was bare

And the table unclad

Because of this grumpy

Self-centered old Dad, 

~ § ~

Who'd decided it all

Was too much of a strain

That denuded his wallet

And caused him great pain.

~ § ~ 

Mama was despondent

The babe on her lap

Did nothing but howl

And spit up its pap.

~ § ~ 

The children were mopey

Their eyes sullen slits

They thought Papa'd gone mad

And had lost all his wits 

~ § ~

When on the front lawn

There arose a great clatter

The neighbors had come

To see what was the matter 

~ § ~ 

With no wreath on the door

Or lights on the eaves

They thought Papa'd grown poor

Or been looted by thieves 

~ § ~

So up to the housetop

With garlands they climbed

Stringing green'ry and lights

Till they got all begrimed 

~ § ~

The ladies walked in

With caskets of food

Then set up a tree

While the children they wooed

~ § ~ 

With carols in harmony

Sung at the door

With lighted red candles

That dripped on the floor.

~ § ~  

Then in marched Tom Turkey,

Who went straight to the oven,

Saying, "Pluck me and stuff me,

I'm dyin' for lovin.'" 

~ § ~

He made not a squawk

While they chopped off his head

Plucked out all his feathers

And stuffed him with bread 

~ § ~

And onions and apples

And sausage and sage

And quite enough butter

To pay a week's wage.

~ § ~  

The cranberry mold

Like a rubicund belly

Shook and shimmered itself

Like a gem made of jelly.

~ § ~ 

The scent of cinnamon

Ginger and pine

Along with the turkey

Smelled simply divine

~ § ~ 

A baker on crutches

Who only could hobble

Said, "Soon that old bird

Will be ready to gobble." 

~ § ~ 

The men midst cold ashes

Placed branches for Yule

Their crackling splendor

A marvelous tool 

~ § ~

For cheering and warming

Pa Grouch with his pain,

Who was soon moved to say,

"I've no right to complain.

~ § ~ 

"With neighbors like you,

I feel it's a shame

I ever indulged

A desire to maim

~ § ~ 

"The Spirit of Joy,

Good Will, and Good Cheer.

I promise you all

I'll be nicer––next year." 

~ § ~ 

Then placing his thumb

At the tip of his nose

He waved them Good Night

And to bed up he rose.

~ § ~ 

But I heard him exclaim,

As he moved past our sight,

"Don't let the door hit your butt,

When you leave. Now Good Night!" 

~• FreeThinke •~

Christmas, 2013 

Have a Jocular Christmas!

~ § ~